When My Life Feels Like It’s Falling Apart

The news headlines over the last season of time has left me feeling icky on the inside…sad. Unjust treatment, unfair judgments, unthinkable violence – uncovering hurt once submerged but now beginning to bubble up.

It seems this kind of news is all too frequent, becoming the norm in our country. Reading about these events unsettles me and shakes me to the core of my being, unleashing a fear and instability I didn’t realize was there.

Uncertainty about our safety and our nation’s future is something about which I find myself increasingly more concerned. In public places, I’m more alert, aware of my surroundings, guarded.

I don’t want to be like this. I think a lot of my response has to do with the fact that it’s so completely beyond my control.

When I see a need, I like to find a solution. I like to fix things, but I can’t fix this. This all seems so wrong, yet so complex. I feel helpless and at times, hopeless.

A lot of things can shake our security. The economy, the election, threat of terrorism or natural disasters, our health, our job, our future, our family… the list is endless.

In the process, I find it’s easy for me to inadvertently anchor my confidence in the wrong things. I find security in the absence of conflict, my ability to control a situation. Sometimes I don’t even realize I’ve done so until that thing, that relationship, that situation is shaken or taken away.

Then I find myself wobbly, like a one-year-old learning to walk. Uncertain. Hesitant. Unstable. I don’t like it.

As much as I hate that queasy “on-a-boat-in-a-stormy-sea” feeling that makes my stomach turn and my face pale, it reminds me where I really need to anchor my trust and confidence.

God graciously, lovingly refuses to let me continue living with false sources of security, reminding me that HE is the One who holds everything together.

when-the-earth-and-all-its-people-quake-it-is-i-who-hold-its-pillars-firm-psalm-75_3

Even when everything is shaking around me, He is holding me and won’t let me go.

When have you felt your life “quake”? How did you discover God as the true source of security during that time?

 

 

 

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